Keiron and Emma.com

I’m writing this from a hotel room somewhere in the sticks in the midlands (just outside Warwick – or so the website said, it’s miles away!). Alright I hear you, why am I telling you this – because I’m expecting Basil, Sybil or Manuel to pop out at any minute!!

Driving up the gorgeous driveway over the bridge and facing the hall was fantastic, I itched to grab the Nikon out of the boot with immediate effect…. Emma could sense this and promised me a walk once we’d checked in….

Check in, the first saga!

We were rapidly checked in at a very quiet reception, Emma asked about the deal (Winter Special – 2 nights, dinner free on the first night – not rocket science), reception informed us that we’d booked Bed and Breakfast and nothing else – Emma was kind enough to inform them that if we had wanted that we’d have gone to the Hilton and not an unheard of chain!

Eventually they took a copy of our paperwork and promised to ring the room as soon as they’d worked it out, we spent the next 10 minutes in the room, fighting to get onto the Internet – it was a no go other than through our mobiles – so much for free broadband!!

I flipped through the standard “Welcome to our hotel” book, only to find a suggestively rude phrase written at the bottom of the page, now most people will know I’m no prude, but I don’t expect to find that in a hotel room!

We’d probably have ignored it, or dropped it off at reception with a laugh and a giggle – but then the phone rang to tell us that we hadn’t got dinner included and weren’t likely to get it! Emma promptly complained about it (the rude phrase) but the girl didn’t appear to find it offensive, Emma requested a new book and the number of head office. The girl didn’t appear to know where head office was and told us to come and fetch a comments card. Emma refused them and asked them to come and remove the book.

Before we knew it there was a knock at the door. A young girl coming from housekeeping to remove the offending item. Within seconds the phone rang again (I’m still fighting with the Internet ). It’s the head receptionist ringing to ask what the problem is, Emma explains about the offensive book and also the lack of them agreeing to the offer… She offers to investigate and call back.

10 minutes later (I’m still fighting with the Internet) and the phone rings again (it’s like a switchboard in here!), it’s the head receptionist again – there has been a mix-up at reservations and they will include the meal (and a complimentary bottle of wine!), we book it there and then. Emma breathes a sigh of relief, this was supposed to be a nice weekend away to escape the chaos at home….

The door knocks again, the same girl from housekeeping… We’re moving rooms and now…. She assists us with our bags and we move three doors up, over the corridor. We think it’s probably a bit of an over-reaction, however it’s a way of starting again and the psychology of this is quite obvious to us.

I’m on the internet… Woohoo… It works in this room, Emma breathes such a sigh of relief she might just hyper-ventilate in a minute!!!

After a little chat we ring to move the dinner reservation forward (mainly because if we go as late as planned then Emma may not get pudding!!) – this is a task in itself! And trundle off out for a walk – photo’s on Flickr soon! This place is amazing!

After getting back we head to the bar for a drink… Now only this week Glenn and I discussed how much we like the “clinicalness” of hotel bars. Glenn mate, you’d love this one!

I approach the bar, barely a single beer I recognise on tap. I order a Murphy’s and Emma orders a Stella Shandy. The young girl pours my Murphys, holding the glass straight – it looks like an ice-cream soda! The girl questions my order for a Shandy again and starts looking for something in the fridges (I don’t take any notice – assuming she’s looking for Lemonade), she disappears behind me and I hear her asking the restaraunt manager how to put a Shandy through the till. The restaraunt manager calmly explains, half a Stella, half a Lemonade. She’s back, and still looking in the fridge (by now I’ve sussed – she thinks Shandy comes out of the fridge!!?). She disappears again, and this time Anthony (the resteraunt manager) comes back to show her, and eventually correct my Murphy’s. I’m still looking for Basil!

We watch the bar staff – it’s absolute chaos, I come to the conclusion that they haven’t long been taken over – there’s wheeling of tables, all the staff are still in old uniforms.

Sometime later we’re back in the bar waiting to go through for dinner, we loiter, a waitress see’s us, we loiter some more, she sees us again, we loiter and wave – now we’re getting somewhere! We’re shown to our table. Organising the free bottle of wine is somewhat chaotic, but Anthony sorts it out again. The meal was fantastic! Soon afterwards we’re presented with a bill – here we go again!!! Anthony assures us he’ll sort it, as his reservation only said a free bottle of wine – Emma writes as much on the receipt. We’ll see!

Every had that feeling of here we go again? Well that’s what happened on Friday evening (11th Jan). My mum had been over to visit and had left to drive back to Gloucester. It had been raining heavy most of the day and snow was also forcasted. About an hour after she left we received a phonecall to say she was stuck in traffic and didn’t seem to be getting anywhere fast, I told her to keep us updated. Another hour had past and she hadn’t moved but snow was beginning to fall……heavy! Mum was caught on the A417 a place that 6 months ago Keiron had been stuck in floods trying to get to Gloucester for our wedding!

As each hour passed mum made no progress, with no water so she reverted to eating snow, no food and desperate for the toilet. We began to trawl various travel news websites and discovered an excellent radio station called travel radio which gave good advice but had a fundemental flaw, it was only available on DAB radio something that many cars do not have!

Mum had brought her car over, Bertie some might remember it as my sisters Sian’s car previously, a small corsa with a poor effort of a radio and very little luxuries! But Bertie did mum proud! Driving through ice, behind big lorries and past lots of abandoned cars!

As you can imagine Gloucester citizens were up in arms, why hadn’t the local authorities warned of snow and heavy rain leading to flooding earlier, why were the roads not gritted and why hadn’t drains been unblocked (mum believes this was the cause of all the flooding in the summer!)

With many abandoning cars and seeking shelter in pubs, mum continued on and eventually we had the long awaited text “I’M HOME!”

Mum has since put a bottle of water and a chocolate bar in the car ‘in case of any further emergencies!’ and has vowed to always carry her reading book with her as she began to get fed up with her own company!